The New Kyuubi
by Savanor
Summary: Things didn't turn out well in the fight at the Valley of the End. Instead of badly beaten by Sasuke, Naruto dies. The afterlife has offered Naruto a deal: He could come back to life if he takes up the mantle of Kyuubi.
1. The End is only the Beginning

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Naruto!

**The New Kyuubi**

**Chapter 1**

**The End is only the Beginning**

Naruto stared in shock at the body that laid before him. It was a short, spiky hair, blonde with tan skin and whisker marks etched onto its' cheeks. It wore a bright orange jumpsuit and a ninja headband with the Konoha leaf engraved on the plate. A hole ran through its' chest where the heart was located. You could see the ground through the hole in the chest.

Naruto shook his head in bewilderment. Why was he seeing his own body with a hole through it? Was it some elaborate genjutsu created by Sasuke to stop Naruto from interfering with Sasuke's journey to Orochimaru. He didn't understand at all. Last he remember, he was covered in Kyuubi's red chakra and holding a huge rasegan in hand as he was charging against Sasuke. Sasuke was transformed into a hideous being with hand like wings, black skin, and horns. One of Sasuke's hands held a chidori to met against his rasegan. They crashed against each other in midair in front of the waterfall that fed into the lake they fought over. A great explosion occurred and Naruto felt a searing pain in his chest before he crashed into the ground and blacked out. Now he woke up to see his body in front of him with a hole in the chest.

He brought his hands in front of him and tried to dispel the illusion in front of him. "Kia!" Nothing happened. In fact, He couldn't feel any of his chakra built up inside of him to do this. Was he that depleted in chakra? Funny, now that he thought about it, he couldn't feel any exhaustion or pain from his fight with Sasuke. Speak of the devil, there was Sasuke. It looked like he reverted back to his normal form with his pale skin and dark colored eyes and hair. He was walking tiredly over to the body in front of him.

"Hey bastard!" Naruto yelled out at him. "What's with the illusion?"

Sasuke didn't act like he heard him and instead knelt down in front of the body and looked at it with a mixture of horror and guilt on his face. He bowed his head and said:

"Why dolt? Why didn't you try to stop me?"

"What do you mean try to stop you?! I'm still trying to stop you! Stop with this weird genjutsu and fight fairly!"

Again, Sasuke seemed like he didn't hear Naruto's voice and continue to stare at the body in front of him. Naruto was getting angry with this. He didn't understand what was going on and he wanted to continue on with the fight with Sasuke to prove to him that he could become strong in Konoha. He ran over to Sasuke and threw a punch to his head. It went right through and off balanced Naruto. He toppled over in surprise and found himself falling through Sasuke and the body. Naruto voiced his thoughts at Sasuke.

"What the hell is happening? What kind of genjutsu is this? I never heard of this! I bet Kakashi-sensei taught you this for your fight against Gaara. Well I'm not going to let this beat me bastard!"

Naruto got up from his position and circled round Sasuke and the body while trying to figure out what was going on. What was the importance of this? Was it to distract him while Sasuke prepared another chidora? Couldn't be. Far as he knew, Sasuke was at the ends of his strength. Even with the cursed seal on him. Grabbing his hair in frustration, Naruto tugged it as he tried to understand. He then decided to leave the place. The Sasuke in front of him must be part of the genjutsu to distract him while the real one was working on a new plan to beat him. Naruto started to run away in search for the real Sasuke. He found he couldn't go far from the illusion.

He struggled to no avail and found that he couldn't go beyond twenty five feet from the scene. He tried several methods to get out of the illusion but the dispel technique didn't work and he found that his weapons weren't on him. Pinching himself didn't seem to work either. The scene was still the same. Sasuke bowing over a body that looked like him and asking over and over the question of why he didn't stop him. Stuck there with no idea as to what to do next, Naruto held himself in a ready position to wait out the illusion. A new figure appeared on the scene.

Kakashi, along with Pakkun, came running up to Sasuke and the body. He too, ignored Naruto who was standing nearby. He stopped quickly in front of them and looked at the figures before him. Both of his mismatched eyes were shown in an fearful stare. Kakashi knelt down in front of Sasuke and the body and put one hand on the body's neck. His eyes above the mask turned into anger and grief. Whipping his head from staring at the body's face to Sasuke's guilt ridden face, he quietly asked in a menacing tone:

"What did you do to Naruto?"

"Yeah bastard, what are you doing to me?" Naruto added his two ryo. Neither Kakashi or Sasuke acknowledged his voice. Naruto decided to stop talking since it wasn't working and watch the scene unfold before him.

"I…I didn't mean too." Sasuke in a guilty voice said, "I..I wanted to prove to him that he and Konoha was slowing me down in my quest for revenge against Itachi. He wasn't suppose to die!" He screamed out the last sentence.

"But he did by your own hand!" Kakashi thundered back and then added softly that Naruto almost didn't hear him. "And by the looks of it, by the technique that I showed you."

Kakashi got up from his position and motioned Sasuke to do the same. Sasuke did so and flinchingly looked into Kakashi's angry eyes. Kakashi narrowed his eyes and said:

"Now this is what we are going to do. We are going back to Konoha and you are going to explain everything to Tsunada about how you killed Naruto, whom she considered as a little brother, and why you turned traitor to Konoha. You are going to be the one that will carry Naruto's body and if you try to escape back to Orochimaru, I will kill you in the most painful way possible that what you did to Naruto will be but a love tap."

Sasuke shakily nodded and knelt down again to pick up the body. He slung it over one shoulder, got up from his position and turned to face the direction to Konoha. Kakashi got behind him and they both walked slowly away from the scene in front of Naruto. Naruto tried to follow them but found himself still stuck in that area.

What was going on? Sasuke hadn't attacked him during the whole time he watched the scene. Wasn't this an elaborate genjutsu to distract him while Sasuke tried a new plan to attack him? Things were not adding up. Naruto decided to start yelling again.

"Hey bastard! What are you doing? This genjutsu won't make me lose my guard. Come out and fight me you big chicken!" Naruto, in a ready position, scan the area around him; looking for the real Sasuke. A melancholy voice that he knew wasn't Sasuke spoke up behind:

"Man, why is it I always have to be the one who takes care of the ninjas?"

Naruto whirled around quickly and looked at his potential attacker. Could this be another one of Orochimaru's goons? The person in front of him was male, wearing a flowing black robe with a hood up. The hood covered the guy's face but Naruto could swear that he saw two glowing blue eyes. A sword was strapped to his side with a gloved hand clasping the handle. He towered over Naruto and beckoned one of his gloved covered hands. Gently he said:

"Don't worry Naruto. I'm not here to attack you. In fact, I'm here to explain what's going on. First thing, this is not a genjutsu. What you saw before you is reality. I made you stay near your body so you could understand what happened to you and hopefully have some closure in life."

"You mean.. I'm dead? Sasuke killed me?" Naruto stated in disbelief and asked, "How did this happened?"

"Plunged a chidora right through your heart from the looks of your body."

"I know that!" Naruto waved his arms at the guy and then crossed his arms in front of him in a thoughtful manner. "Hmm.. I guess I should say why did this happen. Why did Sasuke do this? I thought we were best friends."

"I can't answer you that. My job is to make sure you're properly escorted to the afterlife." the man answered matter-of-factly with a shrug of his shoulders.

"Speaking of which, who the hell are you?" Naruto asked and pointed a finger at the man. "Are you the Grim reaper or something?"

"Yes, matter of fact, I am the Grim reaper. Name's Martin. I'm here to guide you to the afterlife." Martin stuck his hand out to Naruto. Naruto only stared at the reaper and wondered why the heck he was named Martin. Shouldn't a reaper have an awe inspiring name or one that provoke fear? Unfortunately, he voiced his thoughts.

"Why the heck are you named Martin. I thought it would be something..well..grim."

"This coming from a ninja whose named after fishcakes."

"Hey! It actually means maelstrom, weirdo."

"My point being is that the job doesn't necessarily reflect in what my name is."

"Argh! Never mind that! What am I going to do now? Sasuke shouldn't get away with this and I can't become Hokage if I'm dead. Is there a chance I could become alive again?" Naruto gave Martin a pleading look. "I'll..I'll give you all my raman coupons if you could let me live again."

Martin shook his head no. "Look Naruto, what you ask is out of my jurisdiction and power. Upstairs would throw a fit if I try to make you alive. Besides, your body is destroyed enough that if I put you in it, you would die all over again. If you want to come to life again you have to talk to the administration. Speaking of which, the administration actually wanted to see you before your soul is processed. It's best to not keep them waiting."

"What if I don't want to see the administration and instead stay here." Naruto said surly over the fact that he couldn't come to life again. He started to plan on haunting Sasuke, Orochimaru, and maybe Jiraiya to keep him out of the ladies bath side.

"No can do kid. The administration wants to see you as soon as you were dead and I always follow orders." Martin prepared himself to draw his sword and added a warning. "Naruto, your dead so you don't have any chakra to manipulate since you need a body to do that. You also have no strength since, again, you have no body. You couldn't possible stop me from dragging you from here to the administrators desk and I think you might want to come in a more dignified manner."

"We'll see about that weirdo!" Naruto yelled as he cocked a fist back and ran up to Martin to punch him. Martin drew out his sword quickly and slashed Naruto. In an anticlimactic way, that was all that was needed as Naruto felt himself being sucked into the sword Martin was holding.

Naruto could sense things outside the sword and heard Martin mutter:  
"Kid, I told you that wasn't going to work and now your going to meet your maker in an embarrassing way. My sword is designed to contain troublesome souls that refuse to leave this plane."

Naruto screamed from the sword: "Let me out! I believe you now and promise not to run away but please let me out! It's cramped in here!"

Martin chuckled at this. "Kid, it was designed that way too to punish those who tried to escape me. You can't leave my sword until we're at the administration building for a secretary to release you. I don't have the power. Upstairs backup measures for in case I face several beings that team up and want me to release their companions in the sword."

Naruto yell several explicative's at Martin on what he would do to him when he is released. Martin merely shook his head at this, put away his sword, and walked away from the area. He disappeared in thin air with a shimmer.

* * *

So what do you think? Good? Bad? First fanfic and would love to get reviews. Critisms welcomed and if there is something wrong with the grammer or spelling, tell me how I could go about fixing it since I don't know how to go about fixing the story once it is posted. Thankyou for reading. 

Savanor


	2. An Unexpected Offering

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Naruto 

**Chapter 2 **

**An Unexpected Offering**

Naruto strained this way and that to get out of Martin's sword but nothing seemed to work in his attempts of escape. He couldn't summon his chakra or punch through the sword. His spirit felt cramped within the small space. He was aware of what was going on outside the sword and could even see outside but couldn't interact physically. He could make his voice heard though with an occasional mutter on a choice word or two about swords and weirdos who had no right to trap him. Martin ignored his mutterings and proceeded up a path that lead to a huge building. Naruto ceased his struggles as he caught a glimpse of the building that Martin was walking towards.

The building was a poor choice of words since the structure before him was more akin to a castle than some administration office. It looked to be built of jade for the walls and had gold plating for the roof. There was arches, towers, buttresses, and even turrets. If Naruto knew about architecture, he would say the building had a mixture of East meets West. It towered high above the plain it was built on. Martin walked through the enormous silver doors that stood for the main entrance. Inside was utter chaos.

Several beings of oni descent were rushing this way and that in what looked like an office of sorts. They looked vaguely human but with horns and odd colored skin in shades of blue and green. The males wore button up shirts, ties, and slacks while the females wore business dresses. Some were carrying huge stacks of papers while others were busy typing away on computer terminals. Sometimes a voice could be heard yelling at them to hurry up or to get some file. Martin remained calm in all of this and neatly dodged an oni rushing by.

He weaved through it all and came right up to a desk where a female oni with green skin and blue hair was busy typing away. She wore gold rimmed glasses and gave Martin a friendly smile as he came up. She stopped typing, straighten up herself and motioned Martin to sit down while saying:

"Well hello there Martin. It's nice to see you drop by. Are you here for business or for a chat?"

"Business Shari. I need you to release a spirit from my sword and make sure he doesn't run away. He didn't seem to take it too well with dying." Martin replied as he showed Shari the sword.

Shari studied the sword before her and made Naruto feel a little embarrass. How else was he suppose to take death? It didn't feel fair to him that he had to die before he achieved his dream. Also, he really wanted to get back at Sasuke for killing him. Naruto began to plot various ways to escape and get his revenge. Shari stopped his mental rambling by saying:

"This is the one that Upstairs wanted to see? He seems to be a little too weak for what they want."

Why that ignorant, no good… hag! How dare she underestimate him! He already had enough of that back home. Naruto voiced his thoughts:

"Hey there hag! I am not weak.! I can do anything Upstairs wants me to accomplish! Don't underestimate me! Now let me out of here or I'll kick your oni butt!"

Shari stared amusingly at the sword that contain Naruto. She chuckled a little before saying:

"Strong words for someone that got caught in this sword and can't get out without my permission. You've made a mess in paperwork since Upstairs wanted to see you before you were processed. Why shouldn't I leave you in there and get Martin a new sword?"

Naruto got nervous with this question before he finally remembered something Martin said.

"Hey! You can't leave me in here since Upstairs wanted to see me. So you have to let me out of this sword or you'll get into trouble! Otherwise I will find a way out of this sword and beat you up for this offense."

Shari sighed from this statement and shook her head with a small smile. Martin chuckled a bit and stepped back from Shari's desk as she made a few motions over the sword containing Naruto. With a cracking sound, Naruto found himself to be standing on Shari's Desk. He decided to dismiss Shari for the moment and turned himself to face Martin while yelling:

"Don't ever put me back in that sword again! Next time you try, I will kick your butt and put you inside the sword. That's a promise and I never break my promises cause that's my ninja way!"

Martin put his hands before him in a placating way to calm Naruto down while saying:

"Now, now. I'm only doing my job. You refused to come with me and I did warn you that you would face the consequences if you didn't comply with me. I at least got you out of the sword before presenting you to Upstairs."

Naruto calmed down a bit with these words and jumped off of Shari's desk. He walked up to Martin and stared into his glowing blue eyes and said evenly:

"Very well, I understand that you were doing your job but if you try to do that again; you won't like the results." Naruto then put on a happy face and asked: "So, do you know why Upstairs wants to meet me? Better yet, what is or who is Upstairs?"

Martin, glad that Naruto seemed to be thinking rationally, quickly replied:

"To your first question, I don't know. I'm only a delivery guy and don't have the status to know. Second question, Upstairs is name of the council of people who run the afterlife. You could consider them to be a combination of your Hokage and the council that run your old village. The council is made up of the several deities and souls who have proven themselves of leadership quality before they died. They're the ones who decide if you go to hell or heaven or even if your soul needs to be reincarnated. If you want to come to life, you have to talk to them about it. Understand?"

Naruto nodded his head. It made sense. He wondered what would be the best way to convince the council to let him live again. He turned to face Shari to say a few words to her but Shari, at this time, saw that Naruto wasn't trying to escape to the living world and had resumed back to her typing. Naruto, miffed with her apparent dismissal of him, prepared to holler a few choice words but Martin stopped him.

"She's very busy right now and usually I have to do a bunch of paperwork to get a spirit released from my sword. It's best that you leave her alone to her work and thank her later for releasing you without having to go through all the red tape. If she didn't do it, you would've been stuck in that sword for a much longer period of time, ranging from a week to a year."

That stopped Naruto cold stone dead in his tracks and he gave Martin a look of horror. Riiight, definitely thank her later. He could always prove that he wasn't a weakling at some other time. He briefly wondered what he was suppose to do next, now that he was released from that friggin sword. He saw Martin beckoning him to follow.

Since he wanted to see Upstairs on the matter of coming to life again or possible be allowed to haunt his enemies, Naruto willing complied as he followed Martin out of the chaotic office and into the halls. Martin lead him down several decorated halls filled with tapestries and murals on the various exploits of souls who have come before him. Martin pointed out to Naruto that to get onto the walls, a soul had to do something really magnanimous for the greater good of all. Naruto, right then and there, vowed that if he came to life; he would try his best to do a deed that amounted to such worthiness.

He was lead up innumerable stairs that continuously climbed higher and higher. Naruto thought that it would never end. Finally, after some fourscore flights of stairs, Martin lead Naruto to a long hallway that ended with a polish door of gold and silver. Somehow, Martin was able to push the doors open to a room that reminded Naruto of the stadium for the chunin exams. He ushered Naruto in and then left the room, closing the doors behind him. Naruto nervously gazed at the beings in front of him.

Various figures sat in the seats above him. Some of them were human while some of them were of races he didn't recognize, while others.. Wasn't that the Fourth and Old man Hokage sitting near the front?

Naruto eyes opened widely at the sight of two prominent figures in his life. The Fourth, who sealed that damn fox in his gut yet admired for his brave deeds, and Old man Hokage, who looked after him. A grin lit Naruto's face and he beamed happily as he yelled:

"Hey there Old man Hokage! I'm happy to see that there's a face I recognize here. Been a while since I saw you last. It's good to know you aren't in the belly of the death god anymore!"

The Third gave Naruto a small smile around his ever present pipe but soon turned into a serious face and said:

"While I would like to say that it is good to see you too, Naruto; you've been brought here for a serious matter. You have been brought here so that some things could be explained to you and a possible offer."

Naruto, ever hopeful, said: "Is that offer that of coming back to life?"

"Maybe Naruto, but first we need to rid you of that fox entwined with your soul."

This confused Naruto a little. The fox was still trapped in his gut? He thought that when he died, so did the Kyuubi; but then again, how come he never saw the fox's spirit after he died? Was he always to remain bound to that accursed spirit forever? Wait a moment there, did he just use the word accursed in a sentence? What was with that? In his old life, he never used such words or grammar. Before his mind could totally become off track with that subject; an imposing figure appeared in front of Naruto and stuck his hand into his gut.

The man, (or should he say thing since he couldn't tell the gender) was covered in markings on every available space of skin showing. He wore a grey robe of sorts and a thick prayer bead necklace around his neck. His face was twisted in a horrifying grimace and bared his fangs for all to see. Horns stuck out of his long mane of white hair and he towered over Naruto in height. Naruto was curious to know how that mans ridiculously large arms fit into his stomach.

Truth be, Naruto felt no pain as the arm entered in but he was dead so maybe that's why he doesn't. He could feel the spirit grab onto the fox and pull him out. Now it hurt. He could feel the fox slowly being pulled away from him. It felt like the fox was fighting tooth and nail to stay inside him which he found odd since he figured the fox would jump at a chance to escape from its' cell. Naruto nearly doubled over in pain as the figure before him brought out the fox's head by the scruff of its' neck. He could hear the fox screaming to be put back into his cage and that it didn't want to go to hell as more of its' body was pulled out of him. Finally, the whole fox spirit was out of him and writhing in the grip of the man. The man nodded his head in acknowledgement to Naruto and disappeared with Kyuubi. The fox's screams were still echoing in the room.

Naruto, rather shakily, straighten himself out. His mind was awhirl with questions and confusion on the whole matter and so asked:

"What the hell is going on? First I find that I'm using words I never used before in ways I've never thought of and now I find out that the fox was still in me after death. Why is that? What is it you guys want from me? Was it only for the Kyuubi? You said you would explain things to me and I would like the answers now!"

"Please stay calm Naruto" The Third said placating. "Everything will be explained to you." He made a motion and a chair popped right by Naruto. He gestured for him to sit and Naruto did so with an eager look on his face. Finally, some answers! The Third adjusted himself in his seat for a more comfortable position and then explained:

"Now please bear with me Naruto, for I must explain a few things historically before I can go into why you're here. Keep in mind that what I say does affect you significantly.

In the beginning, there has always been two opposing factions, the gods and the demons. They have been fighting each other for years over how the world is run and nearly destroyed this world and universe from that fighting. Neither of them wanted that and so drew up a deal between them. Both of them would not hold any battles on the mortal plane or even appear on the mortal plane. Unfortunately, the mortal plane is in a perfect position to upstage either heaven or hell.

Because of this, some of the lower level demons sneak onto the mortal plane and cause havoc everywhere. They would teach humans forbidden arts of raising the dead and how to destroy souls. Destroying souls causes a big imbalance between the afterlife and mortal life and hurts the universe. Heaven stuck to the treaty since they know that if they break treaty, the higher level demons would retaliate and the universe would be destroyed. Heaven decided that to take care of the demons, they would create avatars to work through and help humans in times of suffering. Thus, the summons and the nine biju were created.

Now before you ask, the biju actually started out as good beings and were not demons themselves but high ranking summons. Various spirits were chosen to become the heads of certain summons and nine special spirits became the biji. They also were heads of certain summons. Nine were created as a balance and each biju had its' specialty for different situations. Taknuka was a defensive specialist; Cat was the medical specialist; Turtle was genjutsu specialist; Shark was a seal specialist; Lion was a Tiajutsu specialist; Phoenix was Ninjutsu specialist; Dragon was both Ninjutsu and Genjutsu specialist; Serpent was a combative specialist; and finally Fox was a specialist in all things. Each were used for different situations but I will focus more on the Fox since his job was to be the assassin for the afterlife.

If there was a mortal using forbidden arts that was too strong for regular mortals to kill, then we would send in the Fox. If there was a demon who wouldn't leave the mortal plane, we sent in him. Fox was to be a countermeasure against demon forbidden arts. You could say he was Death's Ninja. In fact, Kyuubi was only called Kyuubi because of his nine tails when to us, his name was simply Fox since he was the head summon of the Foxes. This brings us up to the matter on biju tails.

Now I'm sure you know what tails meant; the tails indicated the power level they had and of course you know that the more tails they have, the more powerful they were. Now I'm sure your wondering why the biju were in perfect order from one to nine tails when in fact they all use be at the same level. The truth of the matter is that they only got the name biju after they were corrupted.

A demon has been causing havoc everywhere in the home universe for the last couple of centuries. We've first sent in Tanuka to get rid of it but the demon hit the poor fellow with a very strong seal that has cause Tanuka to have an incredible blood thirst and go insane. This seal also made it so that Tanuka couldn't return go to the afterlife or even be taken to the afterlife. Shark had to devised a way to seal up the biju and gave the means to the humans through dreams until we could find a way around that seal. We first thought that if we defeated the demon, then the seal would disappear and Tanuka could return back to the afterlife.

We decided that we needed to send in a stronger biji, so we gave Cat another tail and sent her off but the demon put the same seal on her too. We did the same thing with each following biju by giving them one tail more than the previous but each time the demon would manage to defeat them and put the same seal on them. Finally we had to send in Fox who now was made a Kyuubi.

We didn't understand how the demon manage to defeat our avatars and so we sent in a spy to see if they could find out why. To our horror, Fox was a traitor. He was the one who told the demon the weaknesses of the avatars and helped him fight against his brethren so that each would be defeated. It was his idea that we should give more power to the avatars so that it when it came to be his turn, he would end up with the most power. Of course, as soon as he got that power and was sent to the plane, the demon turned on him and gave him that same seal. This lead to the attack on our village though I think Fox went along with it.

Now it was decided that no more avatars would be created until a means to destroy the demon and defeat its' seal was found. We didn't want anymore avatars to suffer the same fate as the others and we thought that the demon would be using the biju to help spread destuction. Also we wanted to make sure that our new avatar wasn't going to betray us. So we've been waiting for your return Naruto since Fox was sealed within you with a special seal that actually countered the demon's seal enough that the Fox could be taken to the afterlife. We're hoping that we can get the information from Fox on how to counteract the demon's seal and use that info to put a stop to it all."

That satisfied some of Naruto's questions but he wanted to know. He asked:

"So this is only about getting Kyuubi back to get some answers on a demon seal?"

"Patience Naruto." The Third said. "There is more but that was one of the main points you were brought here for. Part of the reason we called you here is that you were not suppose to die and so no place was ready for you yet."

"What!?" Naruto yelled and jumped out of his chair. "What do you mean I wasn't suppose to die! I wasn't even trying to get myself killed!"

"I know that Naruto but it brings up an opportunity for yourself if your willing to take it."

"Is this about that offer you were talking about earlier?" Naruto asked eagerly.

"Indeed it is. Because you have never turned on the village despite its' treatment of you, helped those around you, and for bringing the Fox to use without abusing its' powers; it was deemed that you were a perfect candidate to become the next Fox."

Naruto opened his mouth in amazement. They wanted to make HIM the next Fox? Become the next Death's Ninja! This was nothing like he was expecting for the offer. He thought it would be to come to life again. This was even better. He would become powerful and know some kick butt jutsu. Take that Sasuke! Naruto started to do a celebratory song and impromptu dance along with it.

The Third let it go for a while but then tried to stop Naruto to say a few things.

"Naruto, there is some more things to talk about."

Naruto kept dancing and singing a second verse on being the new fox.

"Naruto." said in a warning tone. He still kept going. The Third got fed up and threw his pipe accurately at Naruto's head.

"Ow! What was that for?" Naruto yelled while rubbing his noggin. How the heck did he felt that when he's dead and has no body?

"Pay attention Naruto. There is still more to discuss before we sent you on your way." The Third said as he motioned Naruto to sit back down again on the chair. Naruto huffed a little on the Third's killjoy attitude on his celebration. He sat down and crossed his arms in front of him. The Third ignored him and continued on:

"Now, just as I said you've been considered to become the next Fox. Let me elaborate on what's going to happen to you if you accept this position so you know fully what you are getting yourself into." The Third looked at Naruto carefully as he said this like he was gauging Naruto's attentiveness.

Naruto quickly nodded his head to the Third to go on.

"If you accept this position, you will automatically become the head fox for the fox summons. You would be in charge of who signs the summons contract and whether or not the foxes would follow that signer's orders. Right now, you would be the only fox summons there is since all foxes who where under the previous Kyuubi were release from the contract to make sure that none of them would help him. Things will be explain later to you when you're older on how to add foxes to the summons contract.

You will not automatically get all nine tails worth of power. In fact, you will receive only one tail. To get more tails, you will have to undergo a series of tests and missions to prove your worth and loyalty to the afterlife. We do want you to take out that demon in your homeworld but right now it is decided that you would have to go through several tests, training, and missions before we let you do that job. We want you to have a lot of experience before taking on that demon so it was decided that your training take place in other dimensions to get plenty of experience. You will actually not see you home dimension for many years while doing all of this. I am forewarning you that these tests, training, and missions will take several years, maybe even centuries to accomplish before we feel you're ready for that.

You are to be loyal to us foremost in missions. Occasionally, it is expected that in your undercover work you will have to have loyalties to other people. An example would be that we sent you to the Konoha. You would be loyal with that village but it is expected that you answer to us so that if there is conflict between our interests and Konoha, ours comes first. Any questions Naruto?"

"Yeah, I've got one. What about Orochimaru?" Naruto asked

"What do you mean?" The Third asked puzzled with that out of the blue question.  
Naruto explained:

"You said that training and such would take several years and in other dimensions and I wanted to know what was going to happen to Orochimaru since he is practicing forbidden arts that you said that destroyed souls and cause a huge problem in balancing the afterlife with the mortal plane. Isn't it going to be my job to take care of him and if I'm away, won't he continue to practice such arts and making the imbalance worse?"

The Third was impressed with Naruto's forethought on that matter and smiled at the boy's eagerness to start on the job. He replied:

"Do not worry about that Naruto. What we plan on doing is to slow down the time rate on that dimension so that you could be gone for a century and only a year will pass by in your home dimension. We have taken that in account when we decided that you have to go through training and missions before confronting the demon."

Naruto sighed in relief over that. His friends and precious people will not grow old and die before he came home after gaining the necessary power to do his job. He hoped that it wouldn't take too long in finishing up the requirements before returning home. Another thought popped in his head and he said curiously:

"Umm… I've got another one Old man if you don't mind. Why is it that I'm thinking and talking…smarter? I find myself using words and grammar that I have never used previously in life."

The Third gave a chuckle on that and said:

"That is alright Naruto but this will have to be the last question. Why you are finding yourself to be more sophisticated is that you are not burden with a brain anymore. The mind and the brain are two separate things that work together in adjusting to new ideas, accepting, or coming up with new ideas. The brain was used as a focus point for your mind and maintain the body functions. The brain in your old body didn't align well with your mind and so you couldn't focus enough on some matters to get the right ideas through or accepting some. Only when something seemed to really matter to you did your mind and brain worked together. That is why you find yourself doing stupid things."

Naruto thought that over. It did explain with some of his more dumber ideas and why he had a hard time understanding some concepts. He knew he wasn't an idiot. Before he could continue on with his musings, The Third continued on by asking:

"Though it is easy to see what your answer is going to be, we still must have it down in record by asking you Naruto: Will you be willing to become the next Fox and take up his duties and undergo the training?"

Naruto thought for a moment. Become the head summons for foxes? Take out Orochimaru? Fight demons? Get special training to do it all? What did the Third take him for, of course he would do it. Naruto replied:

"You know me Old man. My answer is yes!"

The Third smiled at this and stood up from his position. He suddenly appeared in front of Naruto and laid a hand on his head and said:

"Then by the power invested in me by Upstairs: I welcome you, Naruto Kitsune, our new head of fox summons and Death's ninja."

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Author's notes: Wow! I never thought I could write that much for one chapter. Don't expect all my chapters to be around this same length. It's hard to decide what details to add in and what to leave out. The Thirds explanations were hard to make up and The one on Naruto's new speech patterns were the best I could come up with since I find it difficult to write Naruto using simple words. I always find myself using words that most people don't use a lot. 

I have decided to skip Naruto's training and missions for gaining tails since my brain refuses to work with me in coming up with a decent plotline. I figure most people will be interested in what happens when Naruto returns to his home dimension after learning some new moves. There maybe some flashbacks on his journey but I don't have enough for a plotline. I was thinking that there could be a little bit of a crossover since I am having Naruto visit other dimensions for training.I am willing to accept ideas on what happens to him and will credit where it's due if I use it in a flashback.

On another note, I decided that moves will be done in English since my knowledge of Japanesse is null, nada, zilch.

**Notice!! I am looking for a beta reader!**

Please review! Critisisms accepted and flames ignored. Thankyou!

Savanor


	3. Back from the dead with a plan

A/N: I'm so sorry for the late update. My mind couldn't make a clear decision on how the story is suppose to go. I thank all of you who reviewed my story. I find it encouraging to continue on with my story. I have so many offers for beta readers but I figure I will check out their stories first before I make my decision on it. 

Now, to make it clear for all: I'm skipping his whole training and missions done to gain his tails. Like I said before, I don't really have any good plots for the whole training spiel. I figure that most people would be interested in his homecoming and what he does in dealing with Orochimaru and the Akatsuki. There mightl be some flashbacks with minor references of crossovers cause I did say that he would be training in other dimensions.

Pairing: I already have one in mind. It may not be what it first seems. I know people like certain pairings but I find one to be most likely and remember this is a divergent AU so don't get on my case about OOC's. This is a _fan_fiction. Otherwise I would be raking in the money from all the merchandising.

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**Chapter 3**

**Back from the dead with a plan**

The stars twinkled brightly in the summer night over Konoha. The moon shone vibrantly in the fullness of it. Civilians were sleeping uneasily in bed. The shinobi on duty were doing their patrols and kept a wary eye out for intruders. Evers since the first invasion done in the chunin exam, Sound has been constantly doing probes in Konoha's defenses and an occasional strike on the outer villages in Fire country. Sound had allied itself with the Stone and Mist villages while Konoha had allies only with the Wind village. The war between Konoha and Sound was at a standstill for now. Neither side could gain an upper hand against the other. Basically it was a cold war for now but it could break out any moment into full fledge war. Everyone was on edge and kept their guard up at all times. They made sure to watch the walls surrounding the village but none kept an eye out for the Hokage monument to see the strange shimmering that appeared on top of the Fourth's head.

The air looked like it merged with water and shimmered eerily. A ripple made its appearance in the middle of it. A clawed tipped hand clad in a fingerless glove with metal backing came from the middle of the ripple that was followed by an arm covered in a long, black sleeve with flame pattern on the cuffs. The arm and sleeve was connected to a tall, muscular figure that was wearing a long black trench coat with flame pattern on the bottom. An orange muscle shirt was seen in the opening of the trench coat. The shirt was tucked into a pair of loose, black pants that wear tucked into a pair of black boots. The figure walked completely out of the shimmer which promptly disappeared.

The fullness of the moon showed a shock of spiky, long, blond hair held back with a black forehead protector with the dull metal plating having the kanji for death etched on it. The hair spiked over to slightly covered a face that looked very similar to the Fourth's face but with the addition of three lines etched onto each cheek. Cerulean blue eyes with slitted pupils gazed happily at the village below them. They were eyes that seen a lot of years but still kept their inner mirth. A smile quirked up to show well defined canines. Orange fox-like ears peaked above his hair twitched back and forth as they listen for any unexpected patrol. Nine orange tails with white tips poked through a hole in his coat swished gentle behind him. Naruto was back.

If his old comrades and friends saw him now, they would be very shocked at the sight of him since he had the air of danger and wisdom about him. He knew he had changed a lot over the years since he was gone. The different clothes and the fact he wasn't screaming out his joy of being back being some changes. While it may have been seven years that past in this dimension, Naruto had experience close to a millennium worth of years. He wondered how much his precious people have changed. It couldn't have been as much as he has.

Speaking of change, boy has he changed since he died. When he had taken up the offer of becoming the Head of Fox summons and Death's ninja; he was immediately infused with enough power to be one tails worth and some changes done to his soul. Since he was the head of fox summons, he took up some of the physical characteristics of a fox, hence the fox ears, slitted pupils, and tails to name a few.

To interact with both the afterlife and the mortal plane, he was given a special body that had some special powers of shape shifting into any person he saw but it had its' limits. He could only shift into humans and foxes. The human form could only be maintain for only twenty hours before shifting back into his original form. This was done to make sure he would not abuse his powers too much or if in case he went rogue, he could still be tracked down. His new body also was almost nigh indestructible with fast healing abilities, fast reflexes, and great strength when channeling his powers. He seemed invincible but he knew well enough that there were beings out there that could pummel him easily even though he was built to take out real demons and not crazy high level summons.

If for some reason his body was destroyed, Upstairs could easily build him another one and send on his merry way. It had happened a couple times and Naruto learned quick that even though he had connections in the afterlife; death was still painful and a hassle since he had to deal with all the paper work to get another body and it took money out of his paycheck.

His recollection of changes was interrupted by another shimmer in the air as his messenger/examiner from the afterlife came out. Known as Michiko, she was in charge of carrying messages between Upstairs and Naruto. She was also in charge of the testing of Naruto in gaining his tails and made sure that he stayed loyal to the afterlife. She had green hair, pale skin and wore a scarlet kimono with a green sash. She carried a clipboard with some papers on it. A pen in hand, she looked down at the clipboard and made some marks on it. Naruto gave her a quiet greeting.

"Yo, Michiko. What's the orders from Upstairs? They didn't exactly tell me what I'm to do in my home plane but I assume it has to do with Orochimaru and that loose demon."

Not looking up from the clipboard, she replied: "For now they want you to deal with Orochimaru and get married."

"What! Again?" Naruto's tails twitched in agitation on the last part.

"You know full well why you must get married." She answered calmly

"Yeah, I know." He grumbled as he remembered the first time he was ordered to get married. It was a pain searching for a wife while trying to accomplish his mission to gain a second tail at the same time. He was fortunate to find his first wife who turned out in that dimension to be considered a demon. He found it kind of ironic.

He made her dimension his home base until she died from a fatal blow while protecting their kits. He continued to stay in that dimension until his children were grown up and then Upstairs made him move to another dimension to perform some missions and find another wife.

Upstairs believed that if Naruto stayed married, he would be then least likely to go traitor or power hungry if he had someone to care for directly. An additional reason for his need to get married was to add more summons to the fox contract. It turned out that the only way Naruto could add summons to the contract was to have children. Any child he sired would automatically be added to the summons contract so Naruto made sure to never fool around since he didn't want some child of his to be summoned onto a battlefield with no knowledge of what to do or why. He made sure to train all his children and stress the need for them to train their children in the occurrence that they are summoned since he, being a high summon, could summon his descendents to his aid.

Luckily, Naruto could communicate to his children via a special book that when he wrote in it, the words would appear in another book that each child had. They too could write in the book and have the words appear in his book. He had an arrangement with Upstairs to be able to hold a family reunion every ten years he live to see all of his children come to one spot and talk to his clan. He was very proud of his clan.

He then broke out of his musings by asking: "How long do I get in searching for a wife"  
It turned out that Upstairs would only give him a set amount of time to find a spouse before they would arrange a marriage to him. It only happened one time that he ran out of time to find a wife and the one they arranged him with was very difficult, to say the least, to get along with. He rather not have it happen to him again.

Michiko had an evil glint in her eye as she said: They want you to be married or engaged by one years time to this date."

Naruto had to use all of his willpower to not scream out loud 'What!' or cuss like crazy. Instead he asked in a strained voice: "Why is it that they are only giving me a year to find a wife?"

Michiko replied: "They feel that since this is your home dimension and you grew up with the females in this village; you would have an easy time finding a wife. Remember that only seven years have passed here so the girls you grew up with are at the prime of their lives. You can even try to court some of the older females you knew in your former life since you are older than them."

Naruto mentally gagged at the thought of marrying one of the older female ninjas. He found the thought to be too weird about trying to marry Kurenai or Upstairs forbid, Anko; the only two older females he knew that were still in their prime. That left only the females he knew from his class graduation to consider. Maybe he should try for his old teammate Sakura since he had a crush on her for the longest time. Naruto shook his head at the future troubles he would get into while finding a wife.

Naruto said: "Ok. Orders are to take out Orochimaru first and find a wife at the same time for now."

"Correct" Michiko said and then brought her clipboard up to write on. She asked: "What are your plans to take out Orochimaru?"

"Well, right now I don't have much of a plan but more of an idea." Naruto said contemplatively. " I need to find a few things first so I figure I will check out Konoha to see what has changed over the years for a week and formulate a plan based on what I see and hear. Will I be allowed to reveal myself to Konoha?" He asked hopefully.

"For now, No" Michiko replied sadly. "Upstairs wants you to work in the shadows until we get an idea on where the demon is located or Orochimaru is dealt with."

"Could I have sightings of my younger self since I wanted to test out the defenses of Konoha and I figure a little physiological warfare would help in the testing." Naruto gave her the dreaded puppy-eye look as he said this.

Michiko gave a small grin. "Sightings of your younger self will be ok if you make sure not to show your older self. In fact it would be encouraged for you to show your kitsune side during the testing since this could draw out the demon from hiding." Her face then brighten up in thought and said:

"You could make them think that you merged with the former Kyuubi and just now have returned from the dead after learning how to mold a body for yourself since this works with the local legends they have on the biju. You could tell them about learning from a village formed by ninja who have died to explain the forehead protector you're wearing. You can also tell them that you are the head of the fox contract. Just remember to not talk to them about who you really work for or why you are there and especially don't talk about Upstairs!"

Naruto grinned at the ideas from Michiko. "I like the idea and might just say that I'm there to take care of the souls who have not gone to the afterlife yet. That could be my suppose mission to Konoha from the Village hidden in Death that I supposively work for. It could be used as an excuse as to why I'm popping up in Konoha but it won't be in my main plan to get Orochimaru. Useful in getting some information on him and what's going on. Thanks Michiko!"

Michiko blushed and busied herself with the clipboard. She made a few marks on it about the idea Naruto would use and his plan of testing the village below them. She then said:

"Ok, so you will be scouting the village and testing them for around a week. I will be back by then and will want to hear your plan for taking out Orochimaru. Anything you wanted to add before I head back to Upstairs?"

"Not that I can think of right now. Oh! Wait a moment, what if I meet up with one of the biju or their containers?" Naruto asked anxiously while thinking of Gaara.

"You know the seals and method to rid of that demonic seal on them." she said calmly. "If you meet up with one, unseal them. Make sure that you don't unintentionally kill the containers unless it is for a very good reason. Well, I have to go now. See you in a week Naruto and don't get into too much trouble!"

"Sure thing." Naruto said happily and waved goodbye as Michiko stepped into a distortion in the air and disappeared. His face broke into a mischievous grin as he gazed down at the village below him. "Watch out Konoha!" he whispered to himself. "Prank King Naruto is back!"

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**A/N: **Well, what do you think? Good? Bad? Would like to hear of ideas of what kind of pranks and tests Naruto does on the village. Thanks to all who review and continue to review.

Savanor


	4. The Start of Prank Tests

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Naruto. 

**Chapter 4**

**The Start of the Prank Tests**

Naruto grinned eagerly while sitting on top of the hokage tower as he anticipated dawn. After Michiko had left, he had immediately made a bunch of shadow clones to check out the village, prepare a few pranks to start with, and to watch out for the night patrol. He planned to do a few pranks for a couple days and then for the rest of the week he would sit back and watch how they would solve the pranking. He decided he would deliberately show a younger version of himself, minus foxy appendages of course, to people he knew in his former life. To make it even more interesting, he would place a weak henge over his fox features to see if anyone would notice and dispel the henge. If they dispel it, they would see the kitsune part of him and have to figure out what the connection is between the younger looking Naruto, the kitsune features, and the pranking. His planning was disrupted by a clone approaching him to give a map of the village and were the patrols took place.

Not much had changed physically in the village except that Granny Tsunada's youthful face was added to the Hokage monument and the ramen stand he use to visit in his previous life had grown into a full-fledged restaurant. The ninja academy was still the same and he found it surprising that there wasn't that many guards patrolling inside Konoha but instead focused on the outer areas of the hidden village.

He brought out a little pocket book from the inside pocket of his trench coat and jotted down a few notes on the security of the village. Shaking his head at the inadequacy of it; he closed the book and tucked it back into his coat's pocket. He got up from his position and carefully walked down the sides of the wall to the ledge that was underneath the hokage's mission office window. Checking his surroundings carefully, both chakra senses and physical senses, he then henged himself to look like a small native bird and hopped onto the windowsill. He positioned himself to be able to look into the mission assignment office and watch the hokage monument at the same time. He then waited for Tsunada to arrive so he could unveil one of his greatest pranks ever, the painting of the monument.

He decided to do that one first to see if anyone would notice the fog he had set up to cover the monument. He was glad that Zabuza had no hard feelings and was willing to teach him that jutsu in the afterlife. This would test his villages ability to notice things and to see how they would go about solving the mystery of the vandalism. Plus he wanted to do it since it was so cool and was one of the last great pranks he pulled in his previous life. Might as well announce himself with something he was well known for.

The sun rose steadily into the sky and finally Tsunada arrived at her office at around 7 in the morning. Naruto watched quietly as she walked in. She looked so tired and worn. She still had her genjutsu on but it looked like she was now into her early thirties instead of twenties. She still wore the same kind of clothes that she wore when he first met her. Tsunada shuffled in slowly and sat down in the chair with a sigh. Shizune was following after her, carrying a stack a papers. Some chunin that he didn't recognize was also following her and carried a stack of papers too. They arranged the papers and some scrolls on the desk for what looked to be mission assignments. While Naruto was not happy about how Tsunada was looking, he grinned over the idea of how she would act as soon as she saw the new decorations on the hokage monument.

If Tsunada, Shizune, or the unnamed chunin bothered to look behind them, they would have been treated to a strange sight of a small bird flexing its' wings into what looked to be hand signs. A trill could be heard that would of translated into 'dispell' and the fog that covered the monument slowly disappeared to show something that hadn't been done in close to eight years.

The painting of the monument was, in Naruto's opinion, a work of art. He had several clones work through the night and undercover of the fog to finish this up in time for the start of the day. The 1st was painted with a pure white face with black rings around his eyes and black lips. His hair was painted black and it looked like he had a couple nose studs and eyebrow studs painted on. The 2nd was painted with bright pink hair, pink mustache, and red lips. His face was bright green. The 3rd looked lifelike and normal until you notice that it looked like he had a gushing bloody nose and his eyes were painted to look like they were staring at Tsunada's face. The words Ero-kage were painted on his forehead. The 4th was painted to look like a clown with the red nose, bright red hair, white face and blue tear marks on his face. Tsunada's face was painted to look like her real age with wrinkles and the words Granny painted on her forehead. Definitely one of his best works Naruto thought.

Tsunada, Shizune, and the unknown chunin didn't notice the additions to the monument as they were facing away from the window and still sorting scrolls. Shizune and the unknown chunin settled down to either side of Tsunada and soon a knocking could be heard on the door to the room. Tsunada adjusted herself and said "Come in."

In walked an Anbu member with a cat face on. Even though Naruto couldn't see his face; he could tell that Cat could see his work and was trembling in attempting not to laugh. Tsunada, seeing his trembling, mistaken it for fear and asked: "What is wrong Cat?"

Cat didn't say anything but simply pointed his finger at the window behind her towards the monument. Tsunada craned her neck back to look behind her and at the glimpse of the monument, she stood up quickly enough to knock down her chair. She turned full body around and stared long and hard at the monument, her fists clenching tightly. A tic appeared on her forehead when she got a good look at her face and she spun around quickly to face the trembling cat Anbu. She started out quietly as she said:

"When did this happen, who did it, AND WHY DOES IT STILL REMAIN THAT WAY!!" Yelled Tsunada at the Anbu who now trembled in fear of her temper. She pointed a finger at him and with a fiery glare said: "Your mission now is to find out how this happen with the guards patrolling at night and especially, FIND OUT WHO DID THIS!"

"Hia!" replied the cat ANBU and eagerly disappeared in a cloud of smoke.

Naruto was a little disappointed that Tsunada didn't start chucking things at the Anbu but was greatly entertained by the look on her face when she saw what was done to the monument. He had to use all of his concentration and will power to not let go of the henge as he laughed in his head. Luckily, Tsunada didn't look down on the ledge were Naruto was perched or she would have been suspicious of a bird lying on its' side and beating its' wings against the ledge while twittering in a laughing matter.

Tsunada settled down again in her chair, still clenching her fist in anger. She didn't look like she would calm down anytime soon. Shizune looked at her wide eyed and kept her mouth shut. The unknown chunin made an unfortunate mistake in saying "Is that what you really look like?"

With a terrifying roar of anger, Tsunada pulled her fist back and swung her fist to give the unfortunate, unnamed, and very stupid chunin a punch that sent him out of his chair and smashing through the window right over Naruto's head. Naruto watched as the chunin went sailing off towards the monument and the arch of his flight looked like his landing would be the ladies side of a bathhouse. Naruto wished him the best of luck of getting out of there unscathed.

Naruto then realized the problem at hand with him. He wasn't acting like a real bird would and didn't leave when the chunin came smashing through the window. He decided to leave the scene before Tsunada and Shizune suspected something. He hopped away from the ledge and went around a corner to dispel the henge in secrete. It was a pity he couldn't stay longer to see how Tsunada was going to be for the rest of the day. Naruto then got a bright idea and quickly made a clone of himself and henged it into a different kind of bird to hang around the office window. Orders given, the bird quickly hopped around the corner to continue on in observing Tsunada.

Naruto had then shifted his body to take the shape of genin aged Naruto. He lightly placed a henge on his fox features to make them disappear and henged his clothes to look like his old orange jumpsuit. This would definitely make him recognizable to anyone of his class age. He was kind of happy to be in his old jumpsuit since he loved the color orange dearly. The only reason why his clothes have less orange on him is his first wife forcible beat into him that a good ninja wears dark clothes if he wants to be stealthy. He did cheat by adding the flames and the orange shirt since he thought he looked good like that since wives 2 through 9 never complained about it. He then realized that he was reminiscing too much and quickly roofed hopped over to the academy in an orange blur.

In the night he had his clones break into the school to set up some pranks on his old teacher Iruka. It wasn't part of the testing but he thought it would be pure fun to see the look on Iruka's face when the pranks were unleashed. To his pure luck, one of his clones in the exploration of the village found out that Jiraiya was staying in the village right now. He had the clone pilfer a manuscript of an unreleased 'Icha Icha Techniques' from Jiraiya's pack when Jiraiya was busy in the red light district. The clone then hid the book in the academy and placed a genjutsu on the bookcover to make it look like Iruka's edition of the textbook. The book was then placed on the desk of where he remembered Iruka taught.

He was curious to see how quick Jiraiya would notice the manuscript gone and how he would find it. Plus he wanted to see the look on Iruka's face when he opened his book to find out that in its' place was only a graphic adult book. He wondered how much of a nose bleed Iruka would get. While this really wasn't much of a test and more of just doing it for the fun of it, Naruto wanted to see how the teachers would handle his pranks and what they were teaching to the students during times of war.

Thinking of war and his old teacher made Naruto very glad he made a deal with Upstairs to tell him if any of his friends or comrades died while he was away. So far, no one he knew had died yet. He looked forward to seeing how much everyone changed over the years. This brought many questions to mind. Did Sakura get prettier? Ino lose her screechyness? Chouji fatter? Does Hinata still act like a weird dark girl? Does Shikamaru still act lazy or does he act serious now? Will Shino say more than two words in a sentence and will Kiba ever get a life? Tune in next time on… He really wished his last wife wasn't so much of a soap opera fan cause now he's thinking like one.

Anyway another question brought to mind that was really important to him was how will he react when he meets Sasuke?

The last question dredged up centuries old memories, to him, of his fight at the Valley of the End. When he last saw Sasuke, before Martin took him away, he looked miserable and regretful of killing him. Did Sasuke still regret killing him? Upstairs did tell him that the seal that was placed on Sasuke actually altered the mindset of a person and made them express more of a darker side of the personality so Orochimaru could control them easily. Sasuke was already a dark person and the seal just exasperated his condition. He hoped that some part of Sasuke was still fighting the seal and he hadn't gone to Orochimaru yet. Upstairs didn't tell him if Sasuke tried to leave the village again or if his soul was already destroyed by Orochimaru but then again, if Orochimaru had Sasuke's body then Konoha would have fallen by now. It would be foolish to deny the practicality and strength of Sasuke's eyes.

His thoughts on the subject were brought to a halt when he found himself automatically sitting in a tree that had a branch level to the window of his old classroom. He banish those thoughts to the back of his mind for later and placed a mild genjutsu on himself to make people dismiss him automatically as unimportant. He didn't want to be disturbed until his pranks were done and only then would he release that genjutsu.

He watched as children came into the classroom. Laughing loudly and jostling each other about playfully made it was hard to think that this was a school that taught children to kill and maim at a young age. He looked at the children to see if any look like his old teammates or peers but then shook his head to himself. While it may have been a long time for him, all of his friends were around the age of twenty - twenty one and would be only starting now in having families if the war wasn't happening. Besides, this class held students that should be soon graduating.

He did something that would shock his peers if they saw what he was doing now; waiting patiently and quietly for his prey.. Ahem, beloved teacher to come. The sound of footsteps could be heard from the hallway and all the students quickly sat down. Naruto took this moment of time to quickly activate some seals that his clones placed on the bottom of the chairs. The activated seals resonated like magnates of different charges with the student's chakra and caused them to be stuck to there seats. The effect would last between a half hour to an hour depending on how much chakra the student has. None of the students had tried yet to get up from there seat.

The steps got louder and the door to the room slide open to reveal someone that wasn't Iruka, but Konahamaru.

The young seventeen year old looked so much like the Third's younger self. He was dressed in the typical chunin outfit of grey pants and long sleeve shirt covered with his green flack jacket. A long blue scarf was still wound around his neck that he wore when Naruto was alive. Konahamaru greeted the classroom while adjusting the forehead protector on his head.

Naruto's eyes opened wide in disbelief at the sight before him. Konahamaru teaching? What happened to Iruka?

He watched as Konahamaru walked to the front of the room with his hands clasped behind his back and stopped by his desk where the henged book was placed. Naruto could only watch dumbfounded as he saw Konahamaru give them a smile that reminded Naruto a lot of the Third and opened the book to go over some lesson plans. Unfortunately or fortunately, depending on how you view it, he opened the book on a very graphic climax scene.

Konahamaru's face turned a bright red that could rival a fire truck and his eyes bugged out at the scene in the book. He held that look for a second and then a flood of blood from his nose rocketed him back into the blackboard hard and knocked him out. This vividly reminded Naruto of the time he took down the Third with his Sexy Technique.

Several students tried to get up from their seats to help out Konahamaru and see what knocked him out but to their surprise, they were stuck tightly to the seats which were stuck to the floor. Naruto left his tree when the students started yelling and screaming for help.

His thoughts were in turmoil with questions. What happened to Iruka? Why was Konahamaru teaching in his place? Did Iruka get some sort of crippling wound in a mission and forced to retire? Wait! It could be a simple matter of Iruka teaching in another classroom. Naruto took off to the front entrance of the academy and entered with his genjutsu still on.

Naruto carefully checked each classroom for Iruka. He watched as chaos erupted as his pranks were triggered. Mayhem abound everywhere and teachers had difficulty in keeping order as some found themselves sticking to their seats or experienced bright orange paint bombs going off in front of them. Girls screeched in one class as it looked like the Aburame clan had stored all their bugs there. Class after class was checked but no Iruka was found. He stopped at one last classroom to look for Iruka.

He carefully opened the door to see another room in disorder. Some students were stuck to their seats while others found themselves treated to buckets of swamp water dumped on them. A bad smell could be found drifting around the teacher's desk. Naruto frowned to himself; there should have be an illusion of spiders coming from the ceiling. The teacher must of dispelled it. He looked around to find the teacher only to hear a voice coming from behind him.

"Last time I agree to be a substitute teacher." The voice sounded annoyed, feminine, and vaguely familiar. A small "Huh" escaped the voice's lips and said "So you're the one who did this. No one else would be wearing a genjutsu like you are doing right now." The voice ended with the edges of fury on it. Naruto turned himself around to find Ino staring at him.

Ino had grown up to be a very beautiful woman. Her platinum blonde hair had grown to her waist and she wore an outfit that composed of a tight purple tank top and mini skirt which showed off her figure nicely. Bandages wounded up her perfect sculpted arms and fish net stockings covered her long legs. Shin guards melded into her ninja sandals. The whole look, Naruto thought, was very sexy and made Ino a total babe. It then became obvious to him that she couldn't see through his genjutsu but sensed it instead since she didn't sound shocked at the sight of him.

Naruto took a step back to get ready for his getaway via an open window in the classroom just as Ino got rid of his genjutsu of 'Ignore me'. She gasped at the sight of a person thought long dead and stepped back in her surprise. Naruto gave her a cheeky greeting: "Looking good Ino! Perhaps a date sometime later?!" and got out of the room quickly while laughing at the look on Ino's face.

He made it out of the classroom just in time to her Ino scream "Get back here you imposter!"

Naruto quickly exited the premise by teleporting and shifted his form into that of middle age civilian. He henged his clothes to be plain and walked away slowly from the Ninja Academy's ground entrance to avoid suspicion. He luckily teleported himself before Ino jumped out of the window to chase him. Two thoughts were running in his head: "What happened to Iruka?" and "Man, was Ino hot!"

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**A/N:** Gah! I don't know how I manage to write this long of a chapter. I usually like to stop around 2,000 words but I wanted to make some things interesting and set up for the next chapter. Rest assure, there will be more pranks happening in Konoha.

Notes on the henge technique: Just to make a few things clear for everyone. I consider the henge technique to be only illusionary where the illusion surrounding the person can interact with their moves. I know that in the show and manga it was an actual transformation as seen in the Wave arc but for this story I will make it only an illusion techinique. Naruto is powerful enough as is with his ability to shape shift into people, various ages of people, and foxes. I wanted to limit him. So henge is simply an illusion technique in this story. Hope that's clear enough for everyone.

Pairings: People have already asked me to do certain pairings and this is all what I'm going to say for now. I already have a pairing in mind. I don't do harem or boyxboy since I don't have the mindset to write it. I won't say who the pairing is. I'll dedicate a chapter to the person who can guess the pairing. Here's a hint: It's not who you think it is and I may place hints that will deliberately throw you off as to who it is. The actual pairing won't take place for a few more chapters from the look of my writing. Happy guessing!

Savanor


	5. Meeting Acquaintances

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Naruto

**Chapter 5**

**Meeting Acquaintances**

Naruto walked down the street in automatic as his mind churned with confusion. What had happen to Iruka? Iruka loved to teach and he never thought he would see the day that his favorite teacher quit teaching. There was no other explanation for it since he couldn't see another reason for Iruka not to be at the academy. But what caused him to quit teaching? Was it his own death that prompted the chunin to go do something else? Or was it something much worse such as a crippling wound that made him unable to continue teaching. It worried him much.

He thought of possible ways of were Iruka could be now. He knew for sure that Iruka wasn't dead since Upstairs would have informed him. Perhaps the chunin moved up in ranks and now works as a jounin instructor. It would fit his teaching persona. If that was it, why didn't he see him at the hokage's mission office to receive a mission? Well, it was pretty early in the morning despite Iruka's thing for being on time. He could of just missed Iruka coming in as he left the building. If he didn't find anything today on Iruka; he could simply break into the hokage's office tonight to find the needed information. Yeah, that's a good plan. Break into the hokage's office tonight.

Naruto pulled out his notebook and jotted down the plan. This could also work on seeing the security inside the building though he didn't think it would be much since even during his life he could break into the office during his own genin exam. Setting the plan aside for now; Naruto continued down the street and watched the villagers.

He could definitely tell that the village was undergoing war from the looks on everyone's faces. Very few people were smiling and most were looking at everyone else in a thin disguise of suspicion. Buildings were looking haggard as money was diverted from repairs to war plans. He found a lot of stands selling more weaponry than what was conventional in a ninja village. He barely heard laughter and even then it was a harsh, bitter laughter. He soon hurried out of that disheartening street and continued down another that lead to a park.

There he found a few children playing with watchful parents nearby. Seeing some of children reminded Naruto of the demand that he get married and so he decided to go check out some of the local females for prospective wives. He walked over to some bushes and quickly shifted himself into his thirteen year old body while henging his fox appendages away. He was curious to see if anyone would notice a formal genin back from the dead. Plus, he could actually gauge what a female was really like if he disguised himself as a child. He noticed over the years that females tend to let their guard down around young teenagers and children.

Properly disguised but this time wearing a simple outfit of a black t-shirt, jeans, and sneakers; Naruto stepped out of the bushes and meander towards some children to ask if they had any older sisters. He was soon distracted from his goal when he spotted a group of four young teens picking on a little boy under a tree.

He quickly ran up to the group to see why they were doing this. The boy being picked on had dark tan skin and chocolate brown eyes. His dark purple hair was pulled up into a short, bushy pony tail that reminded Naruto of a pineapple. Dressed in a white t-shirt and blue shorts; Naruto could see some blood spilt on the shirt from a bloody nose and a black eye forming around an eye. He notice that the little boy was only four years old and that got him angry. Without warning, he attacked.

He booted on one teenager hard in the back that caused the teenager to fall to the ground hard. The teenager's friends noticed his assault and one yelled:

"Why are you attacking us!"

"Because you're attacking a defenseless little four year old!" Naruto retorted as he swung his hand hard into one of the teenager's face. He felt a satisfying crunch as he broke his nose. He then swept his foot under the guy and kicked his feet off under him. Another teenager cried out:

"But this kid's mother is ..oof!" He couldn't finish as Naruto quickly ran to him and punched him hard in the gut. He pulled his arm away and brought both hands clasped together down onto the teenager's back. The guy hit the ground hard and remained there.  
Naruto turned to face the last teenager and said:

"I don't care who the kid's mother is. She could be Orochimaru for all I care but you don't attack children when I'm around." Saying that, Naruto quickly ran to the last guy and swung his leg hard into the guy's chest. The fellow immediately went flying and hit the tree they were under. He was immediately knocked out.

Snorting in disgust and distaste at the actions of the village boys, Naruto walked up to the little boy who was at that moment watching him in awe. He knelt down and examined the boy briefly to see if there was any broken bones. Seeing nothing too bad except the bloody nose and black eye; Naruto offered his hand to the little boy while saying:

"Hello there, my name is Naruto Uzumaki. What's yours?"

"That's so cool! We have the same name! Mine's Naruto Umino!" The boy exclaimed in wonder.

Naruto had to bite back a swear word when he heard this. Naruto Umino? Wasn't Umino the last name of Iruka? This would mean that he just saved his teacher's kid unwittingly. When did Iruka get married? Cause he seriously didn't remember Iruka seeing anyone when he was alive. The fact that the kid was only four years old meant that Iruka had him three years after his death. Why did Iruka name his kid after him? Did Iruka love him that much as son or little brother? He always did see Iruka as an elder brother looking out for him. It cheered Naruto immensely to find out that someone in the village definitely missed him when he died. Now to the question at hand, who did Iruka marry that would cause a stir among the villagers to hate his son.

He smiled at Iruka's son and helped the boy up. He asked:

"Whose your mom kid?"

"She's Mom." little Naruto replied innocently. Elder Naruto slapped his hand to his face over the kid's answer and gave a small sigh of frustration. Rubbing his temples, he asked:

"I meant what is your mother's name."

"Oh! I don't know. I've always known her as Mom."

"What does your father call her?"

"Well," little Naruto thought with his face scrunched up cutely, "I always hear Dad call her Dear or Honey."

'This is getting me nowhere' Elder Naruto thought to himself. He dug through his pockets to bring out a cloth and started to wipe some of the younger Naruto's blood of his face. A part of him kicked himself in knowing so few of healing arts since his body regenerated very fast. He kind of wished that he took up on the offers of healing arts from his third wife back then so he could heal Iruka's child's black eye. Cleaning the last of the blood of the child's face who oddly stayed still as he did so; he stuck the clothe back in his pocket for later and turned around to offer a piggyback rid to the kid.

"Hop on kid. I'll take you to your mother. She must be worried about you."

"Thanks Naruto!" He chirped as he climbed aboard the elder Naruto's back. After he was on top of Elder Naruto's shoulders; N. Uzumaki stood up and started to walk away from the scene with N. Umino. Uzumaki decided to forgo questioning Umino about his mother since the child didn't seem to know anything at all. He could probably get his answers by simply returning him to his mother. He asked:

"Where did you last see your mother?"

"Umm.. I last saw her near the sandbox. She was letting me be by myself for a few minutes while she went to get a snack. The bullies came after me as soon as she left out of sight. No one tried to stop them." he finished glumly.

"Hey don't be sad." Uzumaki tried to cheer him up. "I came to help you and will make sure that you are returned to your mother safely."

"Really?"

"Uh huh, it's a promise!" Uzumaki smiled widely at the kid and walked in the direction towards the sandbox. He decided to distract the boy from that topic by asking: "So what are you going to be when you grow up?"

"I want to be a great ninja like mom and dad!" Umino cried out happily.

"Oh, is that so? Well I certainly believe you can do it if your father is who I think he is."

"You know my dad?"

"Is his name Iruka?"

"Yup, that's his name! How did you know him?"

"Well, he use to be my old teacher long ago." Uzumaki figured the kid wouldn't question him on that since the child's four and probably isn't a good gauge on age yet.

"Wow, my daddy taught you? What was it like?"

Uzumaki laughed and began to tell the child stories of his escapades with Iruka and the pranks he performed on him. Umino showed his appreciation by laughing a lot at his father's reactions, though he did protest over the meaning of Iruka's reaction to Uzumaki's Sexy technique. Soon they arrived at the sandbox and Uzumaki had Umino look around for his mother. Little Naruto look around from the top of Elder Naruto's shoulders and soon pointed behind while crying out:

"Mom! She right behind you." He bounced a little on Uzumaki's shoulders in anticipation. Elder Naruto turned around to see a sight he never thought to see in a thousand years.

The woman standing behind them that Umino called mom was no one else but Anko; who was wearing a yellow maternity dress since she was six months pregnant. He never thought he would see her in a maternity dress. He still remembered the outfit she wore during the second part of the chunin exam; a combo of fishnets and miniskirts. How in the world did Iruka hook up with her? He wondered if Anko could recognize him from the chunin exam and looked in her eyes. He immediately knew from the look in her face that she knew him and knows that he's suppose to be dead.

Naruto started to sweat nervously. He remembered her reaction to his goofing around with the introduction to the forest of death. Pregnant or not, she was still a ninja and could very well try to kill him for holding her son. Anko's face gave a devilish sweet face and asked in a sarcastic voice: "Long time no see Naruto Uzumaki. What brings you here today and with my son?"

Oh boy, she sounded mad at the last part. Naruto gave a nervous grin and carefully brought the child off his shoulders. He held him out to her and Anko swiftly grabbed little Naruto out of his hands. She placed him behind her and immediately brought out a knife from the folds of her maternity dress. Naruto started to back away from her slowly.

"Before I pin you to the ground, answer me this." Anko hiss out in anger. "Why did you take the form of my husband's favorite little brother?"

"Well," Naruto began while holding his hands out in a placating manner. "It's kind of a complicated manner. This is a form I'm comfortable in."

"Wrong answer!" she yelled and flung the knife hard at him.

Naruto gave a yip in surprise as the knife nicked the edges of his cheek like she did last time at the chunin exam. His concentration on the henge over his fox appendages wavered and the henge disappeared. The area surrounding him went stock still at the sight of them. Naruto gave a nervous laugh and turn tail to run while hurriedly say:

"SorrythatIcouldnotstayandchatbutIgottobegoing" At these words the world erupted in all sorts of weapons and jutsu fired on him. Naruto narrowly dodged them and quickly shifted to a small nine tail orange fox version of himself to make a smaller target. He made sure to lead the adults away from the children in the park and made a line towards a nearby woods.

Dodge left, right, jump up, roll aside to be missed by knives. Naruto ran as quickly as he could to the woods to make his getaway. He didn't want to unleash any of his attacks on the ninja since they were acting in the correct manner for the situation. Unfortunately, the ninja parents manage to surround him and cut off his escape to the woods. Naruto looked around for a way to escape and seeing no other way, decided to perform a famous technique from Konoha.

"Flying thunder God Technique!" He cried out as his tails writhed in complicated ways. A bright orange flash was produce and he was gone from the scene. The ninja's who had surrounded him muttered in fear and wonder as some headed off to the hokage tower to report the incident. Anko was looking over her son and asked him if anything was done to him.

"It was strange Mom." Naruto Umino said to his mother in a serious tone. "He rescued me from the bullies even though it is well known that trying to beat me up is a bad idea and I can take care of myself. He didn't know that you are married to dad and he didn't know that dad was married. He was surprised to hear who my father was."

"Hmm, that is odd. My marriage to your father is well known and so is you birth and intelligence."

"It gets more interesting. He didn't notice my avoidance in saying your name and he knew a number of stories that dad told me about my namesake Naruto. He even told me about the old Sexy technique story."

"Well, the real Naruto Uzumaki exploits are well known. What worries me is that the guy sprouted fox appendages when I nicked his cheek and finally turned into a nine tail fox." Anko said in a worried tone as memories of a fox's rage sprang up in her mind. She grasped her son's hand and quickly headed off to the hokage tower to report her side of the incident.

* * *

**A/N:** I know that some people were wanting an Anko/Naruto pairing but I already had her planned with Iruka. I always liked the pairing. Yeah, I know, cliche' Anyway the next few chapters are basically Naruto meeting up with old friends and new and seeing their reactions. I know the Flying Thunder God technique requires him throwing a special knife (By the way, what are the knives called in Naruto world?) but I figured Naruto could of altered the techinique were he simply has special markers planted all over that he can summon himself to. (Umm, what was the technique called in Japonese? Could anyone tell me that and did I get a correct translation of it? I haven't seen the technique performed in the anime or manga yet.) I hope that the chapter was enjoyable. Please review!

Savanor


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